Its a Beautiful Day !!!

11:00 PM - Go to bed. Think 6-7 hours of sleep daily is must. Not more not less. Set alarm for 5:30 AM.
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5:02 AM - Wake up thinking something. Check the time. Tell your self you have to sleep till a minimum of 5:30. Go back to sleep.
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5:30 AM - Feel something is vibrating. (It must be the cell). Starting ofthe song "Dare You to Move" and it is put in snooze. (Still have 1Hr 10 mins to head out of the house to catch the bus, can afford the 5 mins).
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5:35 AM - Stop the alarm. Go back to sleep.
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6:15 AM -Hear your name being called. Wakeup with a jolt.Stand up (and remember no water for 3 days. Thank God its the third and last !!).
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Vola ... Water is still there !!
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6:30 AM - Start the process of brushing your teeth.
(Random Thoughts about a person I don't actually know and how she is messing her life)
(Some mental notes, and then decide against them)
(Some more random thoughts about someone else.)
(Make a mental note that bath has to be skipped)
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6:35 AM - Start to dress. Gonna be late !!!
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6:40 AM - Still getting ready !!!
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6:42 AM - Dash out of the house running !!! The dogs outside look up. Slow down !!!
Few meters down strart running again.Take the two turns and end up face to face with the neighbours dog. Notice that it ready to pounce. Stop !!! The neighbour grins and continues to walk his dog. Cautiously pass the dog. Start running again.
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6:44 AM - What the hell !! Stop running !!! (Breathless - Stamina ?? ) Walk at a fast pace and notice the bus. Few more meters and take the seat.

And its a beautiful day !!! :))

See the world in green and blue
See China right in front of you
See the canyons broken by cloud
See the tuna fleets clearing the sea out
See the Bedouin fires at night
See the oil fields at first light
And see the bird with a leaf in her mouth
After the flood all the colors came out

It was a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
Beautiful day

Touch me
Take me to that other place
Reach me
I know I'm not a hopeless case

What you don't have you don't need it now
What you don't know you can feel it somehow
What you don't have you don't need it now
Don't need it now
Was a beautiful day

[Its a Beautiful Day - U2]

...but we didn't ...

... there was a time,
when we had nothing to talk...
but we still used to find something,
even if it is crap...just to spend time

... now...
there was a lot
and I am sure
we had a lot to talk..
but we didn't...

... Till the day we meet again
In my heart is where I'll keep you friend ...
I will be missing you ...

[-Puff Daddy, I'll be missing you]

White Nights

I don't know why I liked 'White Nights' in the first place. But as I was reading through it, something in it did bind me, that suddenly I was all respects for Dostoevsky.(Not that previously I hadn't any!!!). There was something in that story that appealed to me, I don't know what exactly. And I wanted to refer it to someone. Thinking back I don't really know why I didn't, but that doesn't matter anymore.

The story is amazing, I know, it won't appeal to many, but somehow, it gave me a lot to reflect upon.

For the character, it was something, like so close and yet so far, the feeling of something slipping which almost within your grasps. Somehow anything that is related to this automatically qualifies as a masterpiece for me. I guess this is why someone called me a pessimist. But I have always had the affinity for the underdog. I have always had great respect for them, for people, with whom life is not fair.

At the end of the story, the author, potrayed it that it could have been a dream. I could not really decide whether the character was dreaming or it happened in the real. It was left to the reader to decide, the uncertainty !!! But I think, now I realise what it actually meant !!!

There was also the desperation, the hope against hope, and taking things the way you want it. It is so very relative and gives a feeling that it is around.

As I said,

trust your instincts

and even though, and still

obey your thirst

PS : I admire this statement by Dostoevsky " I am a sick man ..."

The Mirage !?

My DreamLand is amazing,
its just plain wonderful !!
The 'simulations' based on the
ifs and buts.

I am OK with reality,
I tend to and
have learned to
take it as it comes.
Just to accept the norms of life.

But

Its the mirage,
which is created
when they merge,
Which is painful
and am not able to
come to terms with !!!

... and I wait ...

... and I wait for it to come,
and when it comes,
it goes by so fast
that ...

and then when it hits me,
that its over,
I go back to line 1
and start waiting all over again.

Everyday I wanna pick up the phone
and tell you that you're
everything and even more
(Missing You - Case)

But I know I can't !!!

Little Wonders (Rob Thomas)

our lives are made

in these small hours

these little wonders,

these twists & turns of fate

time falls away,

but these small hours,

these small hours still remain

let it slide,

let your troubles fall behind you

let it shine

until you feel it all around you

and i don't mind

if it's me you need to turn to

we'll get by,

it's the heart that really matters

in the end

The Saint, The Coward and The Human

Aimlessly, Wandering around,
Not being really sure where I am going,
earlier I had the shelter around
Now I just find them waiting for me on the sideways.

Its strange, when others give you advice
and expect you to follow it,
thinking they know what best for you
while they allow someone else to make
the important decisions in there life.

I wonder what intrigues them
is it the path that I take
or is itthe spectacle that I create.

Funny how we are not sure of whats best for us
but we know, exactly, what good for others.

Its amazing, that inspite and despite of your will,
you are still not allowed,
It hurts and it hurts even more
when you are told its done for you.

I usually quote,
"Its your life, and you are suppose to be the most important person in it"

It makes it easier for you to make decisions.

Also its enforces you to think of yourself and only yourself
because others can and will think the best of themselves
Its about time people realise,that, no matter what,
whatever happens in your life,
you and only you,
stand responsible for it.

Selfishness is not only desired, it is necessary,
not only for you, but also for the benefit of others.

and hence I re-quote and re-phrase

"Its your life,
and you are suppose to be the most important person in it,
and no matter what,
you are responsible for everything that goes on in it"

Travel on the Road

I prefer traveling on the road, then any other kind of travel. Not by rail and not by flights. Given an option, I will always take a bus or a car. I guess when I look outside the window, with the world zipping by me, with me sitting away from all this , unaffected.

It gives me a moment. To step aside, for a moment, take some time, away from whats going on, and reflect upon, whats going on, where its going and where it is taking me along with it.

Its just a time to introspect, to look upon, to understand.


I have always had, immense faith, in life. At times it gets hard, to understand what went wrong. But I guess, I happen to take it all with the stride. It all requires a little time. Thats All !!!

I might need you to hold me tonight
I might need you to say its alright
I might need you to make the first stand
Because tonight Im finding it hard to be your man

Hey
More than angry words I hate this silence
Its getting so loud
Well I want to scream
But bitterness has silenced these emotions
Its getting hard to breathe
So tell me isnt happiness
Worth more than a gold diamond ring
Im willing to do anything
To calm the storm in my heart
Ive never been the praying kind
But lately Ive been down upon my knees
Not looking for a miracle
Just a reason to believe

I might need you to hold me tonight
I might need you to say its alright
I might need you to make the first stand
Because tonight Im finding it hard to be your man

-Hold Me Tonight (Savage Garden)

PS : Just that, one of my friends, made me realise, that I happen to leave a lot on TIME !!!