...lost...again.. so Why ??

Why do I feel the way I do.. My heart is heavy.. again..something has irked deep down.. but am unable to understand..what! Why do I keep on having expectations.. yet repeatedly I give to advice to others.. not to expect anything from anyone.
Why does minute things irk me.. which others are not bothered even about. Am I so emotional ?
Almost each day, I have tried to understand the various reasons.. yet I have been unsuccessful..to find out who I am ?? Funny how some do expect to understand me.. some can ..but they also are not very sure..when another shade is revealed.. so at the end.. what makes me.. that sometimes I myself am surprised... who controls all the ambiguities with in me...

So many times.. others have been wrong.. so many times.. I wish I would not be that way.. and I have tried.. then why am I not successful .. in changing the perspective.. what others have.. what I have..

Is it so important.. or should I just not care..and move on.. but still deep down.. I know.. it will come back to me again..

Looking back.. sometimes I feel I was foolish.. sometimes I think of the reasons.. sometimes I try to remember why....but right now.. I know the consequences.. I know the result.. but then why do I eagerly wait..to go.. to move forward.. to fall..
At the end.. I know.. I will get hurt.. so Why ??

yet again.. the words echo.. yet again.. I find a different meaning..

Frown at my ownself...
for A reason still a mystery to me..
Wondering why I am doing so ..
I do it still unwantingly ...