White Nights

I don't know why I liked 'White Nights' in the first place. But as I was reading through it, something in it did bind me, that suddenly I was all respects for Dostoevsky.(Not that previously I hadn't any!!!). There was something in that story that appealed to me, I don't know what exactly. And I wanted to refer it to someone. Thinking back I don't really know why I didn't, but that doesn't matter anymore.

The story is amazing, I know, it won't appeal to many, but somehow, it gave me a lot to reflect upon.

For the character, it was something, like so close and yet so far, the feeling of something slipping which almost within your grasps. Somehow anything that is related to this automatically qualifies as a masterpiece for me. I guess this is why someone called me a pessimist. But I have always had the affinity for the underdog. I have always had great respect for them, for people, with whom life is not fair.

At the end of the story, the author, potrayed it that it could have been a dream. I could not really decide whether the character was dreaming or it happened in the real. It was left to the reader to decide, the uncertainty !!! But I think, now I realise what it actually meant !!!

There was also the desperation, the hope against hope, and taking things the way you want it. It is so very relative and gives a feeling that it is around.

As I said,

trust your instincts

and even though, and still

obey your thirst

PS : I admire this statement by Dostoevsky " I am a sick man ..."

The Mirage !?

My DreamLand is amazing,
its just plain wonderful !!
The 'simulations' based on the
ifs and buts.

I am OK with reality,
I tend to and
have learned to
take it as it comes.
Just to accept the norms of life.

But

Its the mirage,
which is created
when they merge,
Which is painful
and am not able to
come to terms with !!!

Dreams , Ahoy !!

Ships at a distance have every man's wish on board.
For some they come in with the tide.
For others they sail forever on the horizon,
never out of sight, ...

-Zora Neale Hurston

Dreams

It is said, in Dreams, all your senses are ...to some extend....active except the sense of smell. I agree with that. Of all my Dreams I remember, there is not a single one in which I remember smelling something. I remember seeing, feeling the temperatures, hearing, tasting but I don't remember any smell.

For past some time, I have tried to work on my senses, when ever I remember to and also have the time for. I say it is an easy way re-living those cherished moments which happen to stay with time. Though blurriness increases with time, I have been able to trace back to many years back. To do all this, I have always started with something I like and trying to feel the texture, the taste, the smell. Though interestingly I haven't been able to smell, for the last couple of times
I have tried.

Interestingly, I think, am I living a Dream for all these times ??

I was angry that
No one told me that Life will be difficult...
until I realized
No one told me it would be easy ...

Its just what I have chosen it to be !!